I had a session with someone the other day, and one of the things we talked about was how to build in accountability when you have a big idea, without making the pressure so big that you bail on it altogether out of fear.
This struck me as something we all struggle with, or at least, those of us who like to dream big. There’s a tendency to think that step one is doing only for yourself, and step two is sharing it with the world in a huge public way.
When in fact, there are a lot of steps in between.
In our session, we wrote out what those steps might look like, and came up with this:
Do it for yourself
Tell friends what you’re doing
Invite people to play with you
Invite a few strangers
Publicize it
?
?
?
?
Lead a revolution
I’m not sure what happens in steps 6-9, but I’d love to hear your ideas.
In the meantime, if there’s a project you are excited about but scared to share with the world, here is my assignment for you: what is the tiniest, easiest, most fun way you could share your thoughts?
Could you tell your kids about it?
Could you mention it to your friends over drinks?
Could you write a note and leave it somewhere for an anonymous person to find?
Could you write about it cryptically on facebook?
Could you google it and see if anyone else is as excited about it as you are?
Or here’s a thought: you could say something here or over on the facebook page! I’d love to know what you’re excited about.
Can I be honest, guys? (Or as Joan Rivers would say, can we talk?)
Going into this weekend, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue with this strange performance experiment that I’ve spent the last year working on. I thought this might be the end of the road, at least for a while.
It’s been a beautiful experiment. When I started, the aim was to see if it was possible to make a show that fit into my current lifestyle, and that actually improved my day to day life instead of requiring sacrifice. I used to make shows as if they were the sun and I was the moon. Everything I had went towards making them. And that’s okay! For a long time it was exciting. And then slowly it became unhealthy. And then when I gave birth to my son it became impossible. So with this show, I wanted the sun to be me — my body, my life, my family, my actual son — and the moon to be this show. It would exist to serve me, and not the other way around.
When I first had this thought, it seemed radical. I had a lot of questions:
Could I make a show whose #1 goal was to make my life better?
Could I use the show as an excuse to procure resources that I want in my life?
Could I rehearse a show by jotting things down in a notebook and inviting people to watch me try out those ideas once or twice a month? And could those ideas just be stuff I think about in the shower?
Could I make a show with zero collaborators?
Could I make a show with no set or costumes aside from what catches my eye at goodwill?
The short answer is: yes. I rehearsed at a very lackadaisacal pace (at least, compared to how I used to rehearse). I had a notebook next to the shower, and much of the material for the show came from what I mused about in there (or while nursing my son at 2am). Here’s what I spent money on:
$12 – jumpsuit
$14 – shitty easel (I wanted to return it and buy a better one, but it turns out easels are nonrefundable)
$10 – big paper
$24 – 2 fuzzy blankets on clearance, 2 pillows and one “carpet” which is really a bedspread from goodwill
$5 – an “altar” from goodwill
$15 – tape, markers and small objects for the altar
$27 – laminating 4 sheets of big paper
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$107 TOTAL
(Oh and of course, childcare — but I won’t include that number since I have a small seizure whenever I see it.)
I had no official collaborators and thus no meetings or emails or stress — but I did have help making the show from great artists I love and respect, whose insight I’m grateful for.
I wasn’t able to do all the things I originally built into the plan/budget — for instance, I still want to do intensive hypnosis training in Tacoma, and as I talk about in my show, originally I was going to pay a costume designer to make me a fabulous outfit. But I did in fact procure everything by wandering into thrift stores and seeing what caught my eye. And even though the Seattle Times thought that “with more polished production design it could easily become a ruby,” I am very happy to be a defiantly unpolished rhinestone.
So all in all, I’d have to say it’s an experiment that WORKED, and that is what I’m most amazed by. I always knew it would result in SOMETHING. But I didn’t know if that something would be good, or interesting to other people. And it turns out, it is! And the thing I’m second most amazed by is that I honestly don’t care (much) if people think it’s good or not. Somehow, after giving birth and embarking on all this self-exploration and Creative Guide-ness, the part of my brain that cares about what people think of me or my work onstage has switched off. (Or maybe not off, but to low burn.) I feel comfortable onstage. I feel comfortable talking about my work with people offstage, no matter what they think. If they don’t like it, that’s okay with me. Maybe this sounds like a small thing. But for me it is HUGE.
And I’m grateful and surprised as hell that the result of my experiment is a show I love warts and all, and that other people love too. And the upshot of it is, I want to continue this grand experiment, and make it into a 45-minute hybrid performance/seminar/ted talk. I want to keep doing it my way — no meetings, no emails, no crazy expectations, and if I can, money for pedicures built into the budget. And I want to take it all the way to Vegas. Well, maybe not to Vegas (though Celine, if you need an opening act, I’m available). But maybe to SXSW Interactive, the Canadian Fringe, the World Domination Summit…
Are those big goals? Does it seem a little nuts? Well, a year ago this whole idea sounded beautifully nuts, and I pulled it off.
So let’s drink a toast to following our beautifully nutso dreams and dance badly for 2.5 minutes to Celine Dion singing I Drove All Night.
ALSO: if you’d like to get some practice failing, flailing, falling, sprawling and doing things badly, come to my Sunday Morning Fail Zone workshop! Next one is this Sunday (July 19) at 10am. When we fail, we learn, evolve, grow and become stronger. We might as well enjoy the process.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I’ve been working on a solo performance this year that has one foot in the performance world and one foot in this new world I’ve ventured into, the world of (duh duh DUHHHHH) self-help.
It’s strange that I’m in this new world, since most of my life I’ve had an aversion to the idea of self-help and positive thinking. In fact, that’s the title of my show: I HATE POSITIVE THINKING.
It’s about this tension I feel, as someone working in the life coaching field who can’t stand the terms abundance, manifesting, law of attraction and poverty mindset. In essence, it’s my manifesto, on its feet, in progress. A living manifesto.
I’ll be sharing bits and pieces from my living manifesto in the coming weeks as I get ready to take it to the NW New Works Festival, so you can see for yourself what I do and do not stand for. One things I most certainly DO stand for is Stevie Wonder. He is a goddamn treasure (check out how he breaks it down starting at 7:29):
But I also want to encourage you to write / create / dance / draw your own manifesto.
In fact, that is the theme of the next Sunday Morning Creative Zone workshop: THE ART OF THE MANIFESTO (manifesti?)
And it just occured to me — as someone who hates the term ‘manifesting’, it’s funny that I love the term manifesto. Maybe that’s my philosophy in one sentence: I don’t want you to manifest wealth, health and abundance. I want you to get on your feet and MANIFESTO it.
In this week’s Creative Workout Group, we took all the work we’ve done identifying critics and champions, and used it to start developing material to boast about ourselves and our accomplishments.
This is surprisingly (or not surprisingly, I guess) hard to do, and everyone was nervous about it.
But we took it slow, and by the end we were cracking each other up and feeling inspired. It sounds paradoxical, but I think the key to learning to boast about yourself is:
Not taking yourself too seriously.
Focusing on where you’ve been and the hardships you’ve overcome (not just how good you have it now).
Setting the stage with anything that helps you feel powerful, including props, shoes, a fabulous pantsuit or haircut (speaking of which, I LOVE this video I just came across from Lucky Bitch – and I say this as someone who spends zero effort and money on my hair), and most importantly, the right backing music.
So, in part one of an ongoing series about how to ease into boasting about yourself, I offer you some inspiration from the masters:
Nicki Minaj, “I’m the Best”
Muhammad Ali — man, I could watch videos of him all DAY:
See if this inspires you to talk about what you’ve overcome and what a badass you are.
And if you want to take that inspiration further, put on one of these backing tracks and get some practice!
By the way – if you’d like to join a Creative Workout Group, we have a new one starting on March 3! I’m also offering a free Creative Work Out Zone workshop the first Sunday of every month, starting March 1 — RSVP here.
Faith Helma : Creative guide 